Guys night out
by Siren8
Summary: The girls are gone on a night out and the guys are stuck at home. What are they to do?? Please review and no flames.


Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and its respective characters and locations are copyright of Squaresoft and we have no affiliation with them.  
  
Everyone's favorite puberty boy was enjoying a restless night home. For it was a girl's night out.  
  
*Knock Knock*  
  
"Come hither," greeted Squall.  
  
Irvine enters carrying a humungous stack of magazines.  
  
"This should keep us busy for tonight"  
  
"So what happened to your porn channel?" asked Squall.  
  
"Well it all started when I got a phone call this morning saying that I didn't pay my cable bill and so no longer do I have my precious porn. Then being the desperate cowboy I am I went to the library but got kicked out because of looking at porno sites. Finally I go to my dorm lookin' for lovin' and my woman is leaving!" complained Irvine.  
  
"Well there is a fat chick down the hall that is quite interested in you" suggested Squall.  
  
"Dude that is so not right" said Irvine.  
  
*Knock Knock*  
  
Irvine suddenly jumps to the bed with Squall and begins to make the bed shake jokingly.  
  
*Squeak Squeak Squeak*  
  
Outside the door stood Seifer and Zell.  
  
"Holy shit, are they doing it?" asked Zell.  
  
"Oh Squally your an animal!" Irvine said doing his best impression of Big Bertha from down the hall.  
  
"No you little fart knocker, the girls are out." said Seifer.  
  
"Then who do you think it is?" asked Zell.  
  
"IRVINE, SQUALL! You sick bastards open this door." shouted Seifer.  
  
*Irvine answers door.*  
  
"Hey, hey, hey! You never know, Squall could have been hookin up a big score with big bertha down the hall." said Irvine.  
  
"Hey Irvine I thought big momma was your cowgirl." said Seifer.  
  
"Nuh uh, Selphie is his cowgirl. They hop on the good foot and do the bad thing about every night." informed Zell.  
  
"You sick little fuck have you been lookin through my key hole?" questioned Irvine.  
  
*Squall picks up a dirty magazine and throws it at Zell*  
  
"I think you best just stick to this and a bottle of lotion before Irvine kicks your ass." assured Squall.  
  
*Seifer picks up a magazine* "Hey look this chick is caressing her breasts, looke Zell!" said Seifer.  
  
"So what are we doin tonight fellas?" asked Irvine.  
  
"I'm hungry!" said Zell.  
  
"Man I could go for some Taco Bell tonight." said Seifer.  
  
"Sounds good to me." said Squall.  
  
"Let's hit it." said Irvine.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hey we are takin my car, and I don't want to hear you two love birds makin out in the backseat of my car." said Seifer motioning over to Squall and Irvine.  
  
They go to the parking lot to find Seifer's 1970 Chevelle.  
  
They get in the car with Zell in front with Seifer. On the way Seifer flips on the radio and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun starts to play.  
  
"I love this song!" says Zell.  
  
"Me too!" says Seifer.  
  
They stare at each other for a brief moment, shake it off and suddenly burst into song.  
  
"Girls Just Wanna Have fununnn!" Seifer and Zell chorused.  
  
Suddenly the moment is ruined when Zell lets a raunchy, gaseous fart on Seifer's black leather seats.  
  
*bbbbuuurrraaaaappppp*  
  
"Chicken wuss you are never sitting in the front again!" yelled Seifer. "Damn you smell!"  
  
"What the hell was that monstrous vibration?" asked Squall.  
  
"Eeewww...What is that raunchy smell?" asked Irvine.  
  
"Zell you little stinker, put a cork up your ass." yelled Seifer.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
They finally reach their destination.TACO BELL!!! They enter and begin to order.  
  
"The usual guys?" asked the waitress.  
  
*They all nod in approval*  
  
When the waitress returns with the drinks Zell makes a failed attempt to hit on her.  
  
Zell leans to the right to far in an effort to see up her skirt and falls causing her to spill the drinks.  
  
"You're going about it all wrong Chicken Wuss! Take a pointer from this here pimp daddy!" says Seifer.  
  
The waitress returns to bring them more drinks and Seifer says, "Hey Baby!" and grabs her ass.  
  
She glares at Seifer and slaps him across the face.  
  
"OUCH!" says Squall who proceeds to fall out of his chair in a fit of laughter.  
  
"I'd like to see you do better Puberty Boy!" yelled Seifer.  
  
"I'm not even going to try!" said Squall.  
  
"Hey, Hey, Hey, this sounds like my cue! Time to turn on my manly charms!" declared Irvine.  
  
The waitress comes again, this time with the food.  
  
"Hey sweet pea mind giving me some sugar?" asks Irvine.  
  
She returns with two packets of sugar.  
  
"I meant the other kind of sugar!" says Irvine.  
  
She giggles, "Not on this round up cowboy! May be next time" said the waitress.  
  
When she leaves Irvine starts to bow.  
  
"Thank you, Thank you very much!" Irvine says while tipping his hat.  
  
They now begin to chat at the table after they finish scarfing down their food.  
  
"Dude we're gonna have major gas!" said Zell.  
  
"So what next my posse?" asks Seifer.  
  
"How about we go to ChocoGirls strip club?" suggests Squall.  
  
"Right on, why didn't I think of that? asks Irvine.  
  
"Really!" says Seifer.  
  
"Game on! Naked Women!" cheers Zell.  
  
"Like you would know what to do with one if you had one!" says Seifer.  
  
"I'm not a virgin!!" declares Zell.  
  
"That's like saying Irvine here IS a virgin!!" says Squall.  
  
"We're off" finishes Irvine.  
  
*They head to the car*  
  
"Chicken wuss your in the back this time." says Seifer.  
  
"I call shotgun!" says Irvine.  
  
"NNNOOOO!!! What am I supposed to do I left the Lysol at home!!!" cries Squall.  
  
They proceed to on their way to ChocoGirls and Seifer turns on the radio once again and this time the song Lollie Pop begins to play.  
  
They all four burst into song.  
  
Squall and Zell begin to clap.  
  
"Bu bu bum bum!" Squall and Zell sing.  
  
"Lollie Pop, Lollie pop, oh Lollie, Lollie, Lollie!" Irvine and Seifer sing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
They reach ChocoGirls and enter to find four seats right in front.  
  
"Get ready for our new SeeD girls! A cowboy, a puberty boy, a chicken wuss, and last a sorceress' knight." says the announcer.  
  
All of the guys turn to look at each other.  
  
"It could be a big fat cowinkidink!" suggests Zell.  
  
"I hope!" says Squall.  
  
There is a giggle in the darkness.  
  
"Hey, Hey wait a minute I know that giggle!!" says Irvine.  
  
Out comes Quistis, Selphie, Rinoa, and Linda Lu (library girl) in very feminine, revealing versions of each of they're boyfriends outfits.  
  
"Selphie what are you doing here? This place is for nasty women and horn dogs." says Irvine.  
  
"Like you Irvy?" asks Selphie.  
  
"Never mind that lets just cover you up!" says Irvine who proceeds to cover Selphie with his jacket.  
  
"Quistis, babe what are you doing? Seifer asks shocked.  
  
"Yeah!" says Squall and Zell.  
  
Some guy suddenly jumps up and starts to put the moves on Quistis.  
  
Seifer immediately takes action.  
  
"You son of a bitch get your hands off my woman!" yells Seifer.  
  
"What are you gonna do about it Blondie?" asks the man.  
  
"I'm gonna kick your ass!" declares Seifer.  
  
Seifer pulls out his trusty gun blade and continues to kick the guy's ass.  
  
Quistis runs to Seifer.  
  
"Oh baby!" says Quistis and they begin to kiss.  
  
Seifer then removes his coat and covers Quistis. Zell grabs a nearby table cloth and covers Linda. Then Squall tries to cover Rinoa with his jacket.  
  
"Hey this isn't fair, my coat is too short!!" cries Squall.  
  
"Squall why don't you just use a table cloth silly?" asks Zell.  
  
"Oh my god Zell just had a decent idea!!!" declares Seifer.  
  
Seifer walks to Zell and holds his head and declares, "I knew deep down a part of his brain had to work, what a god forsaken miracle!!"  
  
"Let's get the hell out of here!" says Irvine.  
  
They all pile into Seifer's car and they continue back to Balamb Garden.  
  
"I'm gonna stay with you tonight Zell." says Linda.  
  
"Be brave man!" Seifer says to Zell.  
  
"Don't worry she is experienced!" said Quistis.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ --Well that was it how'd you like it? Review please! This is my first fan fiction so no flames please!  
  
~Siren 


End file.
